My experience after nearly 8 years running a DSB... you need to establish it correctly from the start and maintain it. The purpose of the DSB is denitrificatiion. In order to achieve that, you need something stirring the sand, this includes sandbed clames, worms, bacteria, nassarius, conches, cucumbers etc. Anything that will eat from the sand, such as starfish, gobies etc should be avoided unless the bed is large enough to handle the predation. I had a sand sifting goby for years in my 140, but the sandbed was 2'x4'x7" deep. If you have LR etc on top of the sand, that is not a functioning DSB under there....
Two things you mentioned that cause me concern, first is that you can't keep nassarius alive. You may be getting bad snails, but if you get quality snails, acclimate them properly and have enough meaty food for them, you should be able to keep them for a few years. The other thing that concerns me is the denitrator... its quite possible the denitrator is pulling everything out and the DSB is just processing what little is left. A denitrator is a highly efficient nutrient reduction tool and if your DSB is of proper size and health, shouldn't be needed at all. In DSB system, they should be used to provide additional function to pick up the slack if your bioload is too high for the skimmer and DSB. The lack of water changes is also a concern.... a denitrifier is NOT an excuse for not doing water changes. Water changes are still needed to replenish elements and minerals.
Worms are in the tank, so adding more won't do anything.. you need to focus on getting sandbed critters, pods, some sandbed clams, conchs or cukes otherwise your bed will clump at which point it becomes a nitrate and PO4 sink. If for whatever reason, you can't keep the bed going, I would remove all but an inch of the sand for that reason.
Incidentally... when I removed my old sandbed that had been up for nearly 2.5 years during the switch to the 300G, we scooped out all the sand and it was almost as clean as the day it was put in. No smell or anything despite the normal discoloration on the sides, the blues, greens, blacks etc you see on the sides. There was a bunch of life in the bed as well.